The Magician (Spoilerific Review)

Deception is so prevalent that those who speak the truth are usually branded as the greatest liars.

Just got done watching another solid film by the Swedish master, Ingmar Bergman, and figured I might as well toss up a quickie review while it's fresh in my mind. I've seen a number of Bergman films over the past couple years, and the guy never fails to deliver interesting material. The Magician, his 1958 piece about a troupe of...magicians, is no exception.

The film begins with said troupe (which includes Bergman favorites Max von Sydow and the always mesmerizing Ingrid Thulin) picking up a dying actor in the woods on their way to town to answer for the "supernatural disturbances" they've been reportedly causing. The actor becomes very important in their grand deception later on, ultimately proving their act worthwhile and saving them from punishment by the authorities.

Ingrid Thulin
(the woman who will come back from the dead to be my wife)

I'll skip the plot summary and go right to my thoughts on the most interesting aspect of the movie, the parallels Bergman draws between traditional magic and religion. The magicians here are nothing but entertainers, even con artists, who masquerade a bunch of simple tricks and nonsense as the supernatural. They play on people's desires to believe in these sorts of things and show them what they want to see, ostensibly for power, prestige, and profit. In other words, they're like priests.

The ending initially left me with a "that's it?" feeling, but I soon came to appreciate it after thinking about it for a few minutes. The magicians are stripped down and exposed for the frauds they are, left begging for a small amount of money and compelled to flee town before the authorities can arrest them. But when they fail to make it out in time, they are instead summoned to perform for the king (certainly a step up in their seemingly flagging career). I may be the only one to take it this way, and it probably wasn't Bergman's intent, but I saw this tying back to the priest connection. The magicians, like priests (if you ask me), could arguably be locked up for their cons and frauds. But because the magicians/priests are entertaining the people, showing them what they want to see, and feeding and enabling their fantasies, the magicians/priests are actually rewarded for their deceptions.

You damn fraud...

The curious thing, I guess, is that we're supposed to be happy about all this, as the magicians are positioned as the good guys in the film. The men of science are positioned as the jerks who want to mock and punish the deceivers that everyone else seems so fascinated by. Naturally, given my positions on these matters, I found myself siding with the men of science jerks, especially in light of the religious parallels.

Bergman, of course, was agnostic and frequently dealt with religion and doubt in his work. He was very good at walking the line pretty evenly and allowing for ambiguity and different interpretations. I just glimpsed someone else's mini-review on imdb.com, and he said he saw von Sydow's character as a Christ figure. Man. I didn't see that AT ALL. But that just goes to show how talented Bergman was and how thought-provoking his films always tended to be.

If you like deep stuff and haven't seen Bergman before, check out some of his films. He's sure to impress.

Fear...Fear is My Ally

Well I've been slacking again with the posting, so it's time to get back on the horse, at least for one day. So strap in, readers, as this one's bound to offend (hi, religious folk!).

If you recognize my title as a discarded quote from Darth Maul in The Phantom Menace previews, congratulations, you're as sorry as I am. But it seemed an appropriate one for the discussion at hand and a likely secret mantra of religious leaders around the world. Whenever their other methods of controlling you are in doubt, fear is their ace in the hole.

WTF, George? Jar Jar blathers the whole movie, and you cut my bad-ass lines?

As I've quite painlessly shed my belief in religious claims over the past few years, I've wondered more and more how such outlandish and fantastical superstitions have enjoyed such enduring success over the centuries. If they are so unlikely to be true, how can so many people continue to believe them? I think it has to do with a few main reasons: hope, ignorance, laziness, and...wait for it...fear.

Hope is one I can't really fault anyone for. As cynical and misanthropic as I tend to be, I wouldn't want to deprive anyone of all hope. It can keep you going when nothing else can. It can inspire you. It can give you something to shoot for. On its own, it would still make much of religion eye-rollingly silly but largely benign. The only problem comes when you're talking about false hope, which can really crush your spirit when you finally identify it as false after staking so much on it. If you become too dependent on it, and it fails you, you're left with nothing. Gotta watch out for that.

Ignorance is a pretty big one, and while it may be bliss for a time, it can't last forever. In many cases, I think people turn to religious explanations because they understand so little about reality, science, and how the world actually works. There are many things that we as a species still don't know (and probably plenty that we never will), but it staggers me how much we do know that people either ignore or consciously refuse to accept. Knowledge and understanding are good things; they allow you to better deal with reality. The only things threatened by them are institutions predicated on lies. And my biggest problem with ignorance isn't so much the inability to grasp real-life concepts as it is the willfulness of said ignorance.

Okay, George. Probably best that you cut this one.

This goes hand-in-hand with laziness. Many people are just not very intellectually curious. They may not care how things work or why things are the way they are. Or they may not care why something may be right or wrong in a given situation. They prefer to be given simple, pat, unchanging answers and rules that never have to account for context, and religion is more than happy to provide them. I can certainly understand the appeal of simplicity, don't get me wrong. But the world isn't black-and-white. Doing some mental lifting is often necessary, and it really doesn't hurt that much.

And now for the big boy: fear. Fear of the unknown is a real big problem for us humans, especially fear of death. What happens when we die? Religion assuages (see: preys on) that fear by pretending it has the answer. And that answer, be it accurate or (most likely) not, is thoroughly perverse. People come to religion with an uneasy fear of nothingness and leave with a paralyzing fear of eternal torment. Nice.

I gotta ask, how is hell not blackmail? And how is heaven not bribery? Why are so many people perfectly okay with these concepts and the abhorrent lack of morality implied? In all honesty, I suspect they aren't. Because torturing people forever, especially for such absurd affronts as failing to kiss your ass and failing to believe ridiculous claims without evidence, is not the standard operating procedure for a loving being. It's the behavior of an egomaniacal, bloodthirsty sociopath. And if that's the being you're choosing to worship, you either agree with that kind of moral bankruptcy or you're scared shitless of said being. I'm guessing that, by and large, it's the latter.

Kissing Hank's Ass

Who's Hank, and why would I want to kiss his ass?

This is one of my many problems with organized religion. Any system based on fear is not a good one. Any institution that levels threats at you (directly or implied) for disagreeing with it is not a moral one. And anyone trying to sell you something without good evidence for its reliability is a bad salesman. There's nothing to see here, folks. It's all just emotional manipulation.

Alllllll that being said, I'm not trying to yell at anyone here or tell you what to believe. I'm just giving a take on religion and explaining some of my problems with it. If your system works for you, go with it. Just don't try to force it on anyone else (including your kids). If you're only pretending your system works for you, however, don't be afraid to open your mind and explore other possibilities. Other religions, science, philosophy, fiction (plenty of good ideas to be found there, too). Whatever helps you live a better life.

And if you still can't get past this fear of eternal torment business, consider this: the only just way to judge a person is by that person's character and actions. Treat other people (and all other forms of life) well. Be the best person you can be, and measure this by the real, tangible influence you have on other people and the world at large. Put reality first. If there's a just, omnipotent being waiting to judge you for this when you die, you've won. If there isn't, you've still lived a good life, helped others, and won. And if there's an all-powerful narcissist waiting to judge you on how enthusiastically you kissed his ass, why would you want to spend eternity with that prick, anyway?

RCT3: A Few More Pics

Well, I finally got my copy of RCT3: Soaked! the other day. I was kind of secretly hoping that would remedy some of my graphical and technological woes with the game via some magical under-the-hood updates, but that hasn't been the case so far. In fact, the in-game water, for one thing, actually looks worse. Which is a slight problem when the biggest new feature in the expansion pack is the ability to make water parks. Damn. I think I'm just gonna need a new computer for this kind of stuff, and that's all there is to it. Unfortunately, I won't be getting one for at least a few more years. So I'll have to make do with this game-retarded iMac for now. Hey, at least the hard drive hasn't crashed yet.

That being the case, I won't really be able to make any new videos for my current Kennywood re-creation. I guess the only thing left to try is plopping individual rides into mostly empty plots and just adding the scenery in the immediately surrounding areas, hoping to get a good video capture before I end up with too many objects onscreen. Though there's certainly no guarantee that'll work, either. My system might not be able to handle even mid-level graphical settings with any amount of objects onscreen. But I'll see what I can find out with some more experimenting. Even if I'm successful with that, though, I'd pretty much just be doing what I could do far more accurately with a coaster simulator like NoLimits. So it seems the joke's on me.

In any case, my first Kennywood re-creation here is basically defunct as far as sharing goes. So I snapped a few last photos with my added trees and scenery tweaks. Check 'em out below.

Jack Rabbit, Racer, and Log Jammer

Dirt under the very inaccurate Skyrocket

Overhead view of the park

I was also working on a Cedar Point re-creation a while back, but I put that on hold till I got my Kennywood one right. There were so many rides I had to split them across two plots of land, and I never even got to the second one. But since I don't have the technical capabilities to handle Kennywood, I obviously can't hope to take on Cedar Point. Especially since it's SURROUNDED BY WATER. Not gonna work.

Another Snag

The roadblocks to sharing my RCT creations never cease. In my previous post about the game, I was excited about finally gaining access to a proper video editor. With that problem finally solved, I was ready to go. So, naturally, now I'm having problems even recording the videos in the first place. Now when I play back a raw video (without any edits), it jumps ahead a second or two in the clip every few seconds. In other words, it skips. The time doesn't skip ahead, just the segments in the ride. Which must mean that those missing spots weren't recorded at all. And that renders my videos useless.

That about sums it up.

I didn't have this problem with my Jack Rabbit video, but I've added some more scenery to the park (mostly trees) since then. The only thing I can figure is I now have too many objects onscreen for my game-inept computer to handle. I was already having problems before with that damn flickering water, but I chalked that up to my video card. Now I just don't know. Even with my two-year-old iMac, I appear to at least double the recommended system specs in every category (and I would hope so, since the game's about six years old). But, apparently, that's still not enough.

Are Macs really THIS bad with games, or is the game still THIS buggy even with all the patches? Hell if I know. Gaming was about the last thing on my mind when I was looking to replace my dead-in-the-water Dell two years ago, but as I said, my hardware does measure up for RCT3 (at least on paper). I saw the other day that Atari is seriously considering making an RCT4 after all these years. I was initially excited at the news, until I realized I would need a computer from five years in the future to play the damn thing properly.

I'm mad as hell, and I'm...gonna continue to take it
till I acquire a computer from 2015.

So not sure what I'm gonna do about this one. I guess I can try deleting a bunch of scenery, but that kinda defeats the purpose of making a good, reasonably authentic-looking video. I'll give it some thought. And while I'm at it, I'll also think about why I didn't give up on this a long time ago.

Star Trek: Nemesis (Spoilerific Review)

It's been quite a while since I've written about any movies, so I figured I'd do a proper review for an underappreciated, if flawed, film I just rewatched: Star Trek: Nemesis. Releasing without much fanfare in late 2002, Nemesis arrived rather unexpectedly as the swan song for not only The Next Generation film series but for classic Trek in general. Sadly, in fact, it may have been the last true Star Trek movie we will ever see.

I've got a knife. A big, shiny knife.

Opening with a gruesome extermination of the entire Romulan Senate, Nemesis sets its dark tone early. You know right away the bad guys here mean business, and Picard and friends are in for an unprecedented ordeal. Moving through some mostly well-played humor, we learn that Riker and Troi are about to get married and that Riker is finally about to assume command of his own ship, the Titan. So, unless they yank that out from under us by movie's end, the crew will be splitting up. This really is the end.

It's not long before the crew detects strange readings on a planet just outside the Romulan Neutral Zone. Readings that indicate an android. An android like Data. Not far from where all those big-time Romulans were just assassinated. Hmm, something's afoot.

Beastly.

After recovering the dismembered android, a Data doppelganger, Picard and co. receive orders from Admiral Janeway (how wrong is it that Picard's taking orders from that dolt??) to hightail it to Romulus to play nice with the new Reman in charge. Yes, a Reman in charge of Romulus. Might this have something to do with that grisly opening scene?

First meeting with Shadowy Reman's beastly warship, the Scimitar, Picard and friends beam down to the planet to have their first creepy encounter with Shadowy Reman himself, some bald weirdo named Shinzon. Except he's actually human. And knows everything about the Enterprise crew, especially Picard. And is a CLONE of Picard. Whoa! Also, he likes to creep on Troi.

Can I touch your hair? And wear it as a wig?

After some phony offers of friendship, empty promises of peace, and telepathic Troi rapin', Shinzon abducts Picard to steal some juicy Picard blood, which Shinzie apparently needs to survive. Then he's gonna wipe out Earth and stuff with that green bioweapon he nullified the Romulan Senate with at the beginning. Not good. The Romulans pissed him off so much by forcing him into slave labor as a kid that he's gonna get them back by using his super-deadly weapon to wipe out...Earth? Hmm...

This all culminates in a slam-bang finale involving the Enterprise, the Scimitar, two Romulan warbirds, fancy green space gases, a flying Data, a vengeful Troi telepathically raping her telepathic raper('s helper) back, a creepy impalement (and creepier aftermath), and a heavy loss for Next Gen-ers. It's really quite the spectacle.

Now, I'll admit that I was a little disappointed with Nemesis when it first came out. It's not quite the sendoff that The Undiscovered Country was for the original crew, and it does have its problems. It seems like a pretty big stretch for Shinzon to be going after Earth when it's the Romulans he has a real beef with. I get that he doesn't like living in Picard's shadow and needs a full blood transfusion from him, but his plan to use the Romulans after luring Picard there (for what, exactly?) and to take out the Federation--which necessitates taking out Earth--all feels a bit convoluted. Cheesy moments manage to find their way into the proceedings (I'm looking at you, scene where Shinzon's viceroy takes a Palpatine-like plunge down a shaft somewhere in the bowels of the Enterprise). And the Remans suffer from a seriously bad case of Stormtrooper Syndrome throughout the entire movie.

Best to focus on Shinzon, Jean-Luc. They can't hit you.

For all its flaws, though, Nemesis does deliver. I always loved the underlying philosophical question it poses: how different of a person would you be if you were raised under different circumstances? To what degree is your life shaped by forces out of your control? It's something I've thought about a lot, and I still haven't come up with a good answer. Picard doesn't have a good answer in the film either, and he's clearly bothered by the thought that he could've turned out like Shinzon if he had been slave laborized. Data has some interesting input on the matter, as he relates it to his own contrast with his clueless android buddy, B4. Data and Picard endeavor to be more than they are; they strive to improve themselves. Shinzie and B4 don't. However differently their circumstances might be pushing them, that's the distinction. I confess that's a bit simplistic for my liking. It doesn't take into account the prospect that self-improvement is a luxury for the successful; if your potential is nurtured by favorable circumstances, you can reach it and keep going. But if unfavorable circumstances consistently block you from reaching your potential, how can you improve yourself? It's not quite so easy. At what point, though, does bad luck become an excuse to do bad things? I don't think there's a good answer, and while I'm intrigued by Data's, I did feel like it was a hasty attempt to brush the issue aside so we could move on to the lengthy final action sequence. I wish they would've delved into the question a little more.

Largely because of that question, though, Shinzon is a good villain. It's always interesting to see a corrupted, shadowy reflection of the hero, gazing through the proverbial glass darkly. Here's a dude with the exact-same genetic material as Picard, who at times has had the exact-same thoughts and dreams as Picard, and he's about to wipe out an entire planet (for starters). Under the right (wrong) circumstances, could Picard have ever reached a point where he would do such a thing? Picard himself isn't sure, and it haunts him throughout the film. He feels sorry for Shinzon and wants desperately to help him, but he can't. The toll this takes on Picard is abundantly clear when he drives a metal rod through Shinzon's stomach and watches him die inches away from his face. Picard stares ahead, motionless, frozen, as the bioweapon's firing sequence nears the end of its countdown. That, along with Data's timely arrival and wordless goodbye to Picard, plays extremely well. I've felt the impact more with each viewing.

Well, the memory download didn't work.
I think I'll just try stabbing you in the neck.

And let's talk about Data. Nemesis does a fine job of showcasing why he's such a great character. Without a second thought, he does everything possible to help B4, including sharing all of his memories with him. Without a second thought, he sacrifices himself to save Picard and the rest of the Enterprise crew. In fact, he disobeys Picard's direct order to remain on the Enterprise, without any hesitation, to ensure that he's the one to go down with the Scimitar in the process of destroying the bioweapon and that Picard can make it back safely. Now that's a stand-up guy.

Like Spock before him, Data is a character who is mentally and physically superior to humans. He's in a position that gives him every reason to look down on humans. But he doesn't. He's fascinated by them. Wants to feel their emotions. Wants to learn everything about them. Wants to actually become more like them. And, in the end, he dies for them without hope or expectation of anything in return. I can't begin to express how refreshing it is to see a higher-than-human character who focuses on the better parts of humanity, strives to understand what it is that makes them human, and celebrates their unique nature. This is infinitely more appealing than a higher-than-human character who expresses disgust for humanity, condemns them for their nature, and expects unconditional worship and obedience from them...but that's a topic for another day. In short, Data is awesome.

No worries, Captain. I got this.

When I first saw Nemesis, I thought Data's death was too abrupt and the aftermath was too rushed. I felt like there wasn't enough time to really feel the impact. But after subsequent viewings, I really appreciate the brevity with which it's handled. For long-time fans, there's no need to pound us over the head with how big a loss this is. It's huge. And the silent moments say more than any words could. Riker unwittingly demonstrates this when he tries to cheer everyone up with a funny story about his first meeting with Data. Data had been making a hilarious attempt to whistle a song, but Riker can't quite remember what the song was. This is an excellent illustration of how the crew members are fumbling to deal with the loss of their friend, struggling to find the right words and fighting to piece together the memories they suddenly have to rely on. This is also helped by B4's unexpected singing of Data's song from the beginning and Picard's subsequent smiling walk down the hallway. His friend's memories will indeed live on.

There were plenty of little touches I appreciated in the film, as well. The well-played humor. Shinzon's taunting of Picard during the final battle ("You're too slow, old man."). Picard telling Data to shut up during his toast. Mike Novick from 24 as a Romulan who gets uppity with Shinzon. The dark, sinister, foreboding quality of every shot on Romulus (I especially loved the POV shot of the Romulan chick peeking back through the senate chamber gate when Shinzon was having one of his episodes). It's good stuff, and the film didn't get nearly enough credit for it.

Though I didn't think so at first, Nemesis is a worthy goodbye to The Next Generation crew and a solid film in general. It has a few problems, but the good far outweighs the bad. If you weren't wowed by it the first time around, I encourage you to give it another shot. Come at it with a fresh set of eyes. In this age of mindless popcorn Trek, Nemesis is the last piece of classic Trek we'll be seeing for a long, long time (possibly forever). Like Data, its memory is strong enough to live on. So make it so.

RCT3 Kennywood Videos: Jack Rabbit (Supplemental)

Using my magical powers, I managed to get my hands on a copy of iMovie '09. So my video editing woes have been (somewhat) assuaged! I know you were losing sleep over it, but now you can rest easy. Like the previous versions, iMovie '09 stubbornly flips and mirrors my RCT3 videos on import. But, unlike the previous versions, it also lets me flip and mirror those sumbitches back to normal without taking a hit in picture quality or playback fluidity. So, for now, at least, it'll do.

With these newfound abilities, I should be able to post whatever RCT3 videos I bother to record in their intended form with some rockin' background tune. After my initial problems with my first video, I didn't bother to record any more. But I can remedy that now. At the moment, though, you'll have to settle for my third and finally acceptable video of my Jack Rabbit re-creation. I hope the wait was worth it for you (Hint: it's not).

Jack Rabbit (Fixed)

Up we go. The crisp way. The right way.

Which ride do you want a video of next? Your choices are: Racer, Log Jammer, Thunderbolt, Phantom's Revenge, Skyrocket. Speak now, or I'll have to decide for you.

RCT3 Kennywood Videos: Jack Rabbit

UPDATE: I took the second video down on YouTube, so that link will no longer work. Check my next post to see why (I replaced it).

If you followed my rants from a couple weeks ago, you know that I was having problems getting good-quality, correctly oriented videos of my RCT3 Kennywood ride re-creations posted to YouTube. Well, I've finally gotten around the problem...sort of. I went ahead with my mirrored video I got out of iMovie '08 and posted it a couple weeks ago. The picture quality is decent, but it's mirrored, so everything's going the wrong way. I didn't go out of my way to call attention to the video, though, since it's literally ass-backwards (and I didn't misuse "literally" there, since I'm defining the video's ass as its correct horizontal orientation).

I feel I can call attention to it now because I managed to get my hands on an older version of iMovie and finally turned out a non-mirrored video! So everything's great now...except the picture quality is terrible. There are a couple HD options on this older version of iMovie, but, interestingly enough, this version ALSO FLIPS AND MIRRORS THE VIDEOS ON IMPORT WITH THE HD SETTINGS. Hmmmmmm, that is interesting. I guess it's not just an iMovie '08 problem, then. Fortunately, though, this iMovie HD let me flip and mirror the video back to normal. Unfortunately, however, doing so effed up the quality horrendously and made the playback unbearably choppy. W...T...F? Either iMovie really doesn't like RCT3 .mov files, or the software is utterly, hopelessly useless. Though I guess those two options aren't mutually exclusive for my purposes. I would say I just have to plunk down the money for iMovie '09 if I want a cure for my video editing woes, but I have absolutely no confidence that it will be any better at handling these issues.

Anyway, I digress. Below I've posted links to both my good-quality, ass-backwards mirrored video and my bad-quality, ass-forwards regular video. Let me know which one sucks less.

Jack Rabbit (Mirrored)

Wrong way, buddy.

Jack Rabbit (Normal)

That's better. Um, kinda.

Also, as promised before, I've made note of some inaccuracies in my re-creation I'm already aware of. Some can probably be fixed, while others can't really be helped.

• I included a few speed boosts (block brakes) to prevent the cars from stalling (including after the very first bend). You can spot them on the track.
• The tunnel's a little shoddy. There are a number of holes, and the walls aren't the right type of material.
• The trees in the center are too low. Even the tallest ones don't reach as high as they should alongside the track.
• The surroundings aren't quite right. No random buildings on either side.
• The station's too open. Its lack of enclosure probably has to do with my omission of the bordering buildings.
• The queue line isn't curved (can only do right angles) and probably doesn't extend as far as it should around the first bend in the track. Ah, but you don't really see that here, anyway.

And others, I'm sure. You'll also notice the water flickering and changing colors in the background. I guess my graphics card doesn't quite cut it.

If I have the time and patience, I might redo some or all of my Kennywood re-creation when I pick up the RCT3 Soaked expansion and make use of its added features. Who knows, though? Plenty of inaccuracies will remain regardless. But some of the stuff could surely be improved.

Emotional Fantasy vs. Sexual Fantasy

Well now. Been a while since my last post. And even longer since my last non-game-related post. So I'll attempt to remedy that now. I was mulling over a different topic earlier, but I think I'll save that one for another day. Probably better to go with the one that's fresher in my mind at the moment. So let's get to it.

Much is often made of the inherent differences between men and women. We look different, act different, dress different, come from different planets. Etc, etc. And it's true. There are always exceptions, of course, but I'm into making blanket statements today. Men think about sex. A lot. Women think about romance. A lot. Not exactly news, is it? Well, my take on it might be, and here it is: these wildly different preoccupations of the sexes and the fantasies they inevitably inspire are entirely comparable and should be treated as such.

In both cases, the fantasizer is not using his/her head. I mean, obviously. That's why they're called fantasies. They're not realistic. They may be emotionally or sexually gratifying, but they damn sure aren't logical. If a guy saves a girl from being mugged, chances are she's not going to race back to his place, tear her clothes off, and bang out his reward. By the same token, chances are he's not going to usher her home via handsome cab while sipping wine and reciting poetry.

Yeah, nice flower.
But where's your white horse and royal insignia?

By and large, we are downright stupid when it comes to our fantasies. Fortunately, they're relatively harmless...until we try to act them out, even on a small scale. That's when the troubles arise.

Women don't want to accept sexual advances nearly as often as men want to make said advances. That's well understood. And no one looks down on women for rejecting these advances (nor should they). But it seems to me like it's widely accepted--and even expected--to look down on men for making the advances in the first place. And the male preoccupation with sex, in particular, is heavily frowned upon.

The female preoccupation with romance, on the other hand, seems to be heavily encouraged and promoted. Even though the male response to this mirrors the female response to sex: use sparingly, only when I want it. Society sides with the ladies here. Dating/chivalry/marriage = good. Sex = bad.

Why the discrepancy? When people frequently fall into these flights of fantasy, they are simply being true to their nature. Why is this okay for women but not for men? Why is the objectification of women unconscionable and the pussification of men laudable? Double standard FTL.

I think I'm in the wrong place...

Now, I realize my female readers (all two or three of you) might cry foul on this one. You might think it's the other way around, where society actually caters more to male fantasies (in entertainment, for instance). Maybe so (though there certainly never seems to be a shortage of chick flicks). Or maybe it caters more to one sex in one arena and more to the other sex in another arena.

Either way, for both men and women, the key to handling these differing predilections is compromise. Whenever you feel like vilifying the other side, stop and think about your own moronic fantasies and just how often you try to push them on people who want nothing to do with them. Be understanding and tolerant. You can't always have your way. No matter who you are.

No Videos and iMovie '08 is as Bad as Windows Vista

Doesn't look like I'll be posting those RCT videos anytime soon. After moving past the utter failure of iMovie '08, I tried to upload the unedited, mute video of the Jack Rabbit directly to a post on here. It was supposedly uploading all night long and hadn't finished the job by the next morning, so that clearly wasn't working either. So I tried to upload it to YouTube. That took forever, but it did finally work...except it pulled an iMovie and flipped/mirrored the video too. WTF??

I don't know why all these applications can't seem to handle a simple .mov file, but I have to redirect the bulk of my ire to Apple. You would think that a VIDEO EDITOR would be able to mirror a video without any trouble (especially since it did it on its own when it wasn't supposed to to cause this whole mess in the first place). After some more furious Googling, I found out that older versions of iMovie had such basic video effects. And they removed them for the '08 version...why? Probably to try to force people to buy an even pricier application like Final Cut Pro. Apparently, the fact that iMovie '08 was a substantial downgrade from previous versions caused such an uproar that Apple ever so graciously allowed '08 owners to download iMovie HD 6, '08's superior predecessor, for free. That is, until they released the '09 version and could start charging people for basic functionality again.

My favorite app? Easy: iLoveToRipYouOff.

So I'm SOL. I happened to get my first Mac when the Windows Vista of the iMovie series was out, and I never used it until now. No free rollback for me, and there's no way in hell I'm giving Apple any more money for functionality they screwed me out of.

My irritation with Apple has been steadily mounting for a while, and at this point I'm seriously considering switching back to PC when I have to spring for a new computer again. Same aggravation, less cost.

RCT3 Kennywood Pics: Part 2

As promised, here are the rest of the Kennywood screens. Weird business in the last post where only half of the pics were clickable, so don't be surprised if that happens again. And as for those inaccuracies...

• The second drop on the Phantom's Revenge doesn't pass through the Thunderbolt. I couldn't get the coasters arranged in any way to make that happen without other sections of their tracks running into each other.
• There is a Skycoaster in the Soaked expansion pack, but I don't have it yet. I had to substitute the Sky Sling, which looks relatively similar structurally from a distance.
• The pool with the paddle boats under the Sky Sling isn't the right shape or size. I ran out of room.
• Lots of the rides are much closer together than they should be. Ran out of room (the plot of land you have to work with isn't nearly big enough).
• Kiddieland is omitted for the sake of space.
• Many flat rides are omitted since they aren't included in the game. Among them: Whip, Turtle, Aero 360, Swing Shot, Paratrooper (can't believe this isn't included), Kangaroo. I replaced some of them with fairly reasonable substitutes and simply omitted others for precious space.
• Garfield's Nightmare is also omitted.
• Musik Express is replaced by Kara-Oki Concert thing. Don't ask.
• No indoor food courts. Just stalls, some roughly where they should be and others not.
• Moved the Auto Race to the front by the Skyrocket. I had more space there than in the back.
• No picnic tables. They're not included in the game. Not kidding.
• No old school games, either. Replaced with stuff like space arcades and laser tag.

I'm sure there are plenty more. I won't bother to list the coaster-specific inaccuracies until I post their videos. If I do. Damn you, iMovie...

Phantom's first hill

Up, up, up

Plunge into the ravine

Aerial ravine

What happened to the supports?

Second drop

Pitt Fall (and friends)

Pittsburg(h) Plunge (back)

Splash time

Bridge at front

Exterminator exterior

Exterminator station

Dark lift hill

Skyrocket

Misshapen top hat

Hang and drop

Surf turns

Auto Race (front)

Auto Race (aerial)

Grand Prix

That's all for now. Love for my virtual Kennywood and hate for Apple welcome.

RCT3 Kennywood Pics: Part 1

I was all set to post my first RCT3 video with a nice background tune, but because iMovie '08 sucks so much, I guess that's not happening. I do have a video, but I want to snip a second off the beginning before the ride actually starts and overlay some music since there's no audio right now. Although I'm supposed to be able to do this oh-so-easily with my oh-so-easy Mac in oh-so-easy iMovie '08, it turns out iMovie '08 is a giant POS. For no apparent reason, the program likes to flip videos upside-down when I import them. How to fix that? Oh, just rotate the clips. Except...for no apparent reason, that mirrors the videos. Oh, no problem, there's a handy plug-in for that. Except...for no apparent reason, iMovie '08 doesn't accept plug-ins. Well, this is all so nice and easy. iMovie '09 supposedly fixes the problem, and I can upgrade for a mere...$80. Damn. Where's Justin Long when you really need to break his face?

Keep smiling, asshole...

So I'm done defending Macs. PCs suck in many ways, and Macs really aren't any better. To justify how much simpler they're supposed to be, everything Mac costs 700 times as much as the PC counterpart. Literally. Take the PC version of RCT3 Platinum. You know, the one that includes the main game and both expansions. $30, tops. I've seen it on sale at times for $10. The Mac version? Um, there is no Mac version of Platinum since the second expansion was never even released. So you can buy the main game and the first expansion separately (that's 2/3 of the PC content, mind you) for...$21,000. Each. Awesome. How easy and convenient you are, Macs.

Anyway, on to my disturbingly time-consuming RCT-ing. It's a little sick that I'm going to more and more trouble for creations that aren't too great in the first place. I'll be the first to admit that my skills in the game are very rough, especially when I was just getting started. And still being restricted to the content of just the main game to this point doesn't help in that regard, either.

Kennywood was my first attempted park, and its coasters my first attempted...coasters. Due to my lack of savvy and the game's own limitations, you'll be sure to find plenty of inaccuracies and omissions. Lots of flat rides simply aren't included in the game, and I either replaced them with something else or left them out altogether. And constructing dark rides is the bane of my existence, as evidenced by my lulzy attempt at the Exterminator. So no Garfield's Nightmare. I know you're disappointed to hear that since it's everyone's favorite ride...

Old Mill, you say? Ha! I have fancy 3D glasses...

I snapped shots of mostly the coasters and included some below. They'll have to tide you over till I figure out a video editing solution. Or till I give up and start posting mute videos. Or just give up altogether. If I were you, I'd bet on the latter.

Jack Rabbit (front)

Jack Rabbit

Double dippage

Jack Rabbit (front, top)

Racer (front)

Jack Rabbit (back)

Racer (front, top)

Racer (back)

First bend

Log Jammer

Bend overlooking the pool

Coming up on small drop

Big drop

Final hill

Looking across at Log Jammer

Olde Kennywood Railroad

Raging River

Aerial view

Nice trees

Starting point

Thunderbolt

Paddle boats and Sky Sling

Phantom's Revenge in back

From the back

Aerial shot

Bowl section

I have more pics that I'll include in a follow-up post later. I'm getting a little nervous about the size of this one (especially since blogger went down for me for several hours). Check back for the rest. If I'm feeling ambitious, I might also list some of the many inaccuracies I'm already aware of (e.g. Sky SLING...wtf??).